There is Only Power, & Those Too Weak To Seek It
by Aisling.Aberdyfi
Summary: Harry Potter was captured, and Voldemort wants to teach Harry how to  use his extraordinary power. With Voldemort's temper, how long can Harry survive? Sorry, not very good at  summaries, but please tell me what you think! Harry/Ginny *violence*
1. Chapter 1

**Hey:)**

**I was just inspired to write this, and if you want me to continue, just review :)**

**Aisling Aberdyfi xx**

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><p>Harry writhed in pain, and thrashed on the cold floor. Curses hit him from all sides, and cold laughter resonated through the room. Hurt seared through his body, and he shook in agony. He suppressed his cries, as not to encourage his tormentors.<p>

After a while, the curses died down. Harry's face was pressed down onto the stone, and his glasses were crooked. He brought a shaky hand to his head, and felt something warm and sticky. Blood. His arm could not hold it's self up much longer, and it slumped to the floor. Bellatrix was cackling in the background, reveling in the fact she had taken down The Boy Who Lived. Harry struggled to keep awake, to gather enough strenghth to get up and run, however, the comfort of sleep was too tempting, and Harry was lead into the darkness.

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><p>Harry was awoken with a jolt, and opened his eyes to find The Dark Lord sitting in an armchair across the room. He instictively scrambled to his feet and moved back against the wall, to Voldemort's amusement. He chuckled, if thats even possible, and gracefully got to his feet.<p>

"Ah...The Boy Who Lived." Harry nodded slowly, and clenched his fists. He would not show any weakness. Not today.

"Voldemort." He replied clearly, hiding the fear in his voice. The Dark Lord inclined his head. He advanced towards Harry, while he pressed himself further into the wall. Harry began to shake with terror.

"You know why you're here, Potter." Harry blinked. Voldemort was close, and Harry could feel his cold breath on his neck. He shuddered.

"I'm sorry, I don't, Riddle." Harry retorted quietly. Voldemort glared, but quickly composed himself. He strode away, hands clasped behind his back.

"You could be my equal, Harry." Harry shifted uncomfortably.

"You forget Tom, you've already marked me as your equal." He pushed his fringe up and gestured towards his scar. Harry could see the anger bubbling below the surface. The Dark Lord turned abrubtly, and moved with great speed towards Harry. Harry jumped back against the wall and threw his hands down by his sides. Voldemort was so close, Harry could not breathe. He raised his hand and ran a finger across Harry's scar. He flinched.

"Harry, you must learn to respect your master." He hissed. "I shall return later in the evening, to teach you a lesson." And he swept out of the room, his black robes flying behind him.

Harry fell to the ground, his sore legs collapsing beneath him. His body ached, and screamed at him. Only then did he allow the tears to fall, to take hold of him, and shake his frail frame. He was trapped, and there was no way out. Harry hugged his arms around himself, and longed for the comforting arms of Ron and Hermione.

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><p>"<em>Crucio<em>!" He snarled, tilting his wand to Harry's head, hate showing through his cold eyes. The curses hit him like bullets, and Harry refused to beg for mercy, which provoked Voldemort further. Harry's body convulsed, and his insides cried out. His side was slammed into the wall, causing many bones to crack, and shatter inside him. It was then that he cried out for mercy, and to make it all stop. Harry waited for the next string of curses for being weak, but none came.

"I think you've learnt your lesson, Potter." He whispered, smoothing Harry's hair. He jerked out of Voldemorts grip, shocked at the touch. The Dark Lord smirked, and retreated, holding his hands up to him. He made a sign to the door, and a Death Eater approached.

"Eat, Harry." A bowl of broth was placed in front the teenager, along with a spoon. It was regarded with a skeptic look, and Voldemort gestured for Harry to go on. He gingerly raised a spoon to his lips, and with a quick glance to the Dark Lord, he swallowed. "It'll do you good, my boy." He annouced in a fairly good imitation of the headmaster.

The broth warmed Harry's stomach, but left his mouth feeling sour. He had given in. Once the first spoonful had gone down, Harry could not stop. The small bowl was empty in a mere 20 seconds. Voldemort smirked, and glowed in victory, whilst Harry sunk in defeat.

"Shall we revisit to my previous offer?" said Voldemort, "Any thoughts?" Harry ducked his head. If he said no, another string of curses would be thrown his way. The teenager sighed; The Boy Who Lived has to make sacrifices.

"I will never join you, Riddle." Harry replied simply. Voldemort suppressed his anger, but fingered his wand, as if ready to strike. "You're _evil_." Voldemort began to pace.

"I have told you before, there is so such thing as good and evil, only power, and those too weak to seek it." said Voldemort, "You have that power, and I am wiling to help you wield it Harry." Harry couldn't deny he was tempted, but when he remembered that it was _Voldemort_ who would teach him, he shoved the thought out of his mind. He hung his head, and brought his knees up to his chest.

"I don't want that." The Dark Lord exited the room as grandly as he'd entered. A bolt slid across the door, and clanged. And once again, Harry was alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey There,**

**Another Chapter here:)**

**Its not very long, but quality, not quantity! (lets hope you like it! haha)**

**Please Review, and please criticize, because I really want to make my writing better:)**

**Aisling Aberdyfi xx**

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

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><p>Harry was slumped against the wall, in a deep sleep. He was being watched. The past few days had been energy-consuming, and Harry took every piece of sleep he could obtain and he was oblivious to the men in the shadows.<p>

"Maybe the Dark Lord is pushing him too far..." The first of the men murmured.

"It's not your place to question him-"replied the other, only to be interupted.

"I know, but just look at the boy!" He retorted quietly, "He can hardly stay concious for more than five minutes..." The other agreed, with a cautious glance towards the sleeping boy.

"We'd better be getting back. Our Lord awaits..." And Harry was left to slumber.

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><p>Every night Harry dreamt of his friends, and the night he was taken.<p>

He was at Grimmald Place, and it was the weekly meeting of the Order. Harry, Ron and Hermione were living upstairs, and it was the first time Harry had been happy in a long time. They had laughed through the night, and joked about their previous mishaps and wrong-doings at Hogwarts. Harry almost felt relaxed.

Voldemort had been lying low, well, thought Harry, who wouldn't after their younger arch nemisis humilated them in front of the entire wizarding world? The Order were just seeking out Death Eaters and picking them off, one by one, so usually the meetings were just a list of dead people, ours and theirs. Harry could remember the surroundings well; The thin but tall dining room, with a broken chandalier than filled the room with half-light, and the bright faces of his friends huddled around him on wobbly chairs. And the screams of despair when the Death Eaters apparated around them, dragging Harry out of the room, with a hand clamped over his mouth. He can remember the glassy eyes of Arthur Weasley as his body lay in the hallway, and the sobbing of Molly, as she cursed any one who dared go near him. He remember the terrified looks on Hermione and Ron's faces when they realised they could not save him, and he most definately remember the screams of Ginny as she was pinned on to the wall. _HARRY! HARRY! DON'T LEAVE ME HARRY..._He tried to shout to her, and he tried to fight back, but the grips where too strong, and they were so unprepared. Harry thrashed, and screamed, but it was no use. The Order was defeated. And it was Harry's fault.

The guilt would live with him forever.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading, and <strong>

**CRITCIZE:)**

**xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello:)**

**No reviews yet :( But oh well, I'm going to keep writing anyway :P **

**Hope you like it (if anyone's reading it :/)**

**Aisling Aberdyfi xx**

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

After refusing Voldemort's 'teaching', Harry had been hung by his wrists from the ceiling. The ropes ripped his skin, and burned, however they were magical ropes, and only the one who had cast the charm could relieve it. Still, the boy refused to beg. Voldemort called his favourite Death Eaters in torment and torture Harry. Cruciatus curses were flung at him every few seconds, cuts were made across his face, and taunting insults were thrown in to the mix as well. Reluctant tears stained his bloodied face, which excited MacNair, especially. That particular Death Eater enjoyed to break a finger each time they encountered each other in the torture sessions.

"Don't you see now, Harry?" said Voldemort, "It is foolish to deny my lessons...You have gift!" Harry grimiced, shifting his position, only to reluctantly cry out in pain. This amused the Dark Lord'd followers, and soon after, they were dismissed. "You are born of lightning, Potter! You are tied to the earth! You gather your energy and magic from nature...I have spent years studying this, of how to obtain its power but now! Now I have you." Harry didn't think that was a good thing.

"You're crazy, Riddle." Harry muttered, only to be hit by a cruciatus curse, filled with hate. He convulsed, and thrashed around in his ropes, sobbing from the pain of his broken bones.

"Do you think that your scar is lightning-shaped by accident?" spat Voldemort, "I'm trying to help you, Harry. The older you get, the less control you will have over it!" The Dark Lord strode closer. " Let me teach you, Harry." He whispered, stroking Harry's scar.

Harry spat in Voldemort's face, and tried to kick him away. Short cruciatus hit him, and he yelped.

"It seems like you a little persuasion, Potter." He called Bellatrix into the room, and whispered, "Break his legs..." and the Dark Lord sat down to watch the show. Harry tried to move away, but his hands were bound tight. Lestrange grasped his left leg, and began to stroke it; the boy began to shake.

"Ah, such pretty little baby legs...How's it going to feel when snap them in half?" Voldemort coughed expectantly and there was a sudden_ SNAP_. Harry screamed, and writhed in pain, tears mixing with the blood on his face._ Mum_, Harry begged silently,_ Mum, help me_. The Dark Lord laughed coldly, and gestured for Bellatrix to continue. Again, Harry tried to kick her away, but she just grabbed his right leg, and looked into his eyes. She laughed, and another _SNAP_. Harry cried out, and sobbed. His legs were in excruciating pain, and Voldemorts cold laugh resonated in his ears. _Mum._

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><p>Harry was practically tossed into his 'room', and with a clang the bolt was slid across the door. Harry hated himself. He was meant to be the Chosen One. However, he had failed everyone.<p>

Harry had taken up an new habit; he reached into his sock for the old blade. He pushed up his bloodied sleeve, and stared at the scars there. The boy took a deep breath, and remembered the faces of his friends. The grief and desperation and hidden in their eyes, the disappointment.

The cool of the blade touched his skin, and Harry instantly relaxed. The metal dug deep into the flesh, and a sting rang through his arm. The blade seemed to glide along his wrist, and tension seemed to flow out with the blood. A slow dripping sound comforted him, and he lay his head against the wall. The teenager counted his scars; _One, Two, Three, Four, Fix, Six_. Harry cut himself to keep track of the days he'd been there.

The sting began to irritate, but also calmed Harry. He had some control, not much, but at least he could control this. At least he could control this. Harry remembered Ginny, and how she was probably dead. They all were probably dead.

The old razor clattered to the floor, and Harry passed out. Finally, the sweet release.

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading and please review :) xxxx<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, I know, this is extremely short!

I just wanted to get an update out, and I couldn't think about what else to put on this chapter :/

Thank you traviswj for reviewing:) thats a really good idea, and I might work it into the next chapters if I can:)

Please review, and I will have another update soon:) I hope 0:) xx

Aisling Aberdyfi xx

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><p>Chapter 4<p>

On the eighth day, Harry was given a book. He had been sitting in his blood stained cell for two days, head lolled against the wall, and wishing it was a dream. Unfortunately, this was utterly real. And no-one could save him. He raised his head, and ran a shaky hand across the cover. Harry glanced around and gingerly opened the book. _A History Of Magic_. Harry was cautious, but intrigued. The boy shifted, but gasped. Voldemort had chosen to leave him with one broken leg, and a broken rib. The rest of his injuries had been healed by a reluctant St Mungos Healer. Harry turned to the book and noticed a scribbled note in the corner. _Read page 203. _The pages were tattered, and Harry tried to ignore the dark red stain. He began to read;

_What many people may not know, is there are many different magic gifts witches and wizards can possess. The least common is __Nullam tellus; Earth Magic. This occurs when a child is born of two powerful parents, and a traumatic event in their childhood tied them to the earth. It is an extremley painful process, and although the gifts that accompany Nullam tellus are worth more than an entire wizard bank, it is wise not to seek these powers._

_Nullam tellus give you extrordinary powers, but it is unbelievably hard to control. Many wizards have been driven insane by the pure power of this force._

_People who possess Nullam tellus usually have a mark, symbolising their personality in a form of nature. For example, Cloud, sun, flower etc. This can be anywhere on the body, and is usually mistaken as a mark from dark magic._

Harry reached up and touched his scar. It couldn't be.

_The last recorded Nullam tellus user was Merlin, who bore a lily shaped scar on his upper arm. Merlin managed great things that a ordinary wizard could only dream of, and his source was the earth. As a child Merlin encountered a dragon, and was brought to the brink of death, therefore he was tied to Nullam tellus. _

_You may not be tied by choice, and the majority of the time, one does not know Nullam tellus existes._

The book clattered to the floor, and Harry stared at his empty, blood-stained hand. Voldemort was telling the truth.


	5. Chapter 5

**I have been updating alot lately, and I will probably be updating a lot less in the upcoming weeks (schools starting:/) but I hope to get these chapters out for who ever is reading this.**

**Please review, because I actually do want to make my writing better :) **

**traviswj - thanks for reviewing :)**

**Aisling Aberdyfi xx**

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><p>Chapter 5<p>

As Harry could no longer stand up on his own, he was once again hung by his wrists. He had been suspended naked there for about an hour, the fibers ripping his tattered wrists. Nobody had noticed the increasing scars on his left forearm, and he thanked God for that. It was times like these he questioned if there was a God, for if there was, he would be at home, holding Ginny in his arms. The image of her pressed against the wall with a wand at her throat made Harry want to kill himself. He'd tried to help her, and failed. He didn't deserve to be the Chosen One.

"Did you read my little book, Harry?" inquired Voldemort, mocking Dumbledore's caring tone. Harry slowly nodded, only for his head to reluctantly loll against his shoulder. Harry couldn't keep his eyes open, and a buzzing in his head was constantly lulling him into sleep. "STAY AWAKE!" and Harry was slashed down the side of his face. He struggled to look up, in to the cold eyes of his enemy. "Answer me propererly, Harry. Did you read the book?"

"Yes." The boy croaked, blood running into his mouth. The Dark Lord smirked, and began to pace back and forth. He abrubtly turned, and strode uncomfortably close to Harry.

"Do you believe me now, Harry? Do you believe you need my help?" He whispered, his cold breath making Harry shiver. "It doesn't have to be like this... Look at your self, Potter. Your friends would be disappointed in you." Harry visualised his naked, dishevelled body, and had to agree with Voldemort. His friends would hate him.

"But, if I do accept your teaching..." Voldemort looked up, interest building behind his eyes, "How do I know you won't use me? To hurt people? How do I know my magic won't be abused?" Voldemort fumed, and swept to the other side of the room.

"Abuse? You accuse_ me _of abusing magic?" He snarled. Harry looked down, and braced himself for the pain. "_Crucio_!" He thrashed and spasmed, sobbing, and clenching his fists. His broken rib pierced his skin, and his leg flailed and snapped the remaining tendons. Harry was being torn apart, inside and out, but still, the teenager refused to beg for mercy. Pain is temporary, he was once told, it will go away eventually.

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><p>All was silent, apart from the slow drip of blood and tears.<p>

"We should tell him who we are. He needs to know..." said the first in a hushed tone, grasping the other's upper arm.

"You do know the Dark Lord is a Leglimens? If he should invade the boys mind - which he does more than once_ every day _- we would be comprimised, and we would be rendered useless, and also _dead_." Spat the other, wrenching out of his tight grip.

" But...Harry's losing hope..." He replied, shaking his head.

"Besides, we haven't any contact with them for months! We are no longer part of the-"

"Shut up! Do you even know who's listening?" The first snapped, running a hand through his hair.

"Well, if anyone is listening, we've already told them enough!" muttered the other. "Just wait, a little longer..."

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><p>Harry was thrown into his cell, and the book was tossed at his head. The door clanged shut. Before his clothes had been taken away, he'd hid his blade behind a brick. For some reason, Harry could not bear to lose it. It was the only thing he had control over. He dragged himself over to the brick, and ran a shaky hand over the scars. <em>One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight<em>. Today was the 9th day.

Metal bit into his flesh, and Harry let out a gasp of relief. Relaxation ran over his body until Ginny's tear stained face flashed before his eyes, and he pressed deeper, deeper than he'd ever gone before. Harry was breathing heavily, blood gushing out of the cut. The boy gazed at it, and felt like he'd accomplished something.

After a few minutes, the guilt came swimming back. He curled up and wrapped his arms around himself, covering his disgraced body.

"I'm sorry, Ginny." He whispered.

Harry didn't sleep.

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><p><strong>Please Review :)<strong>


	6. Chapter 6

**Another Chapter :)**

**I have written Chapter 7 and a tiny bit of 8 so if you want Chapter 7 early, just review :)**

**Thank you so much for reading:) I means so much to me :D xx**

** Aisling Aberdyfi x**

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><p>Chapter 6<p>

"What would your 'friends' think of you now?" chuckled the Dark Lord, "Well, I wouldn't call them friends, I'd call them worshipers! And, what do they have to worship? A naked, disgraced, weak, pathetic excuse for a boy!" He laughed cruelly, glancing at the boy's dishevelled body.

Harry was tied to a chair, in a dark room, where the only light source was a flickering fireplace, that seemed to mirror Voldemort's mood. He hadn't been allowed to wash since he'd arrived, so by the 11th day, he was covered in grime, blood, and sweat. He had open cuts that would sting, bruises that ached his whole body, and scars. Scars from everything.

"I am what you've made me to be, Riddle." stated Harry. Why did he have to be an insolent Gryffindor?

"That does not change the fact that your friends and family suffered because of you, and continue to do so!" shouted Voldemort, "And why is that? Because you refuse help and guidance from the greatest sorceror of all time!"

"I think I've always accepted Dumbledore's help and guidance." Oops. Bad idea, Harry. He wanted to hit himself. Why did he always say what was on his mind? Voldemort screamed, and kicked Harry in the stomach, toppling his chair back. Harry cried out, as his broken rib pierced what felt like his lung. His glasses had long since cracked, but the Dark Lord insisted Harry was to keep them on. A piece of glass flew into his cheek, but Harry repressed his sobs. There was one thing he learnt from Dudley and his friends, if you didn't cry they would back off. Unfortunately, this didn't seem to work with the darkest wizard of all time.

"You should learn not to talk back to me, boy." He spat. Voldemort had his armchair brought in, and he relaxed into the cushions, eyeing Harry body, battered on the floor. Where he belonged, he thought. "You've failed, Harry." Voldemort whispered, leaning forward. "You could have killed me, but you are too weak." Tears dripped off the edge of Harry's nose. The teenager couldn't help but agree. "You're dead to them, Harry. They haven't even come looking for you. They don't want you to come back." Harry flinched, and tears left tracks in the blood on his face. "They despise you. Do you remember their faces, when they looked upon you for the last time?" Harry definately did. Those images would stay with him until he died. "You were too weak to save them. Useless." Harry's tears splashed on the stone floor, as he felt the guilt flood him. He had an urge to yank out the brick and use the blade. "The Weasleys lost their father that night. And who do you think they're blaming? If only the blood-traitor Ronald had never met you...Their family would be intact." Guilt stabbed his heart, he screamed internally.

"Forgive me." Harry whispered; it was almost inaudible, and Voldemort pretended he hadn't heard.

"Ginny will never love you again." Harry looked up. "Not after you let her father be murdered. Who could love someo-some_thing_ like you?" Harry knew he was telling the truth. But hearing it from someone else just made it hurt deeper. "Oh, but don't worry. Every day you turn down my gracious offer, I will hunt one of your worshipers down, and make them die, painfully and slowly in front of you." Harry went cold all over. "Let's start with, whats-her-name...the mudblood...Hermione Granger! Yes, she will make sure you submit!"

Harry thought of his friends. He had already destroyed their lives enough as it is. The least he could do was save them. One last time.

Voldemort was calling in Lucius and Bellatrix, and gleefully instructing them on how to capture her.

"Fine." He croaked. Voldmort whipped round, and stared at the lifeless body that was Harry Potter. "I will let you teach me."

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><p><strong>Thanks For Reading :)<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Nice big chapter for ya:)**

**Well, it's long for my standards, so no complaining! ahah:)**

**Might not update for a while, as writers block is mixing in with school work :/ I know what to write, but not how to write it, if you know what I mean :P **

**traviswj - You will see what I'm planning soon :) xx**

**See you next chapter ;)**

**Aisling xx**

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><p>Chapter 7<p>

Harry's bones had been fully healed, and he had been allowed a shower, and clothes. All that was left were the cuts and scars, which had been left to 'remind Harry'. The Death Eater robes he was wearing were surpringly light, but brought a gaunt look to his face.

Every night, Harry cried. What Voldemort had said, it bit and tore at Harry's heart. He'd given in. Wasn't a Gryffindor meant to be brave? Wasn't he supposed to never back down as The Chosen One? He'd failed. And maybe, what hurt the most was that his friends hadn't bothered to find him.

"You've got to feel the earth, Potter, sense it!" Harry was trying, but a stone cold mansion didn't feel very natural. "Once you can feel it, say a spell in your mind, and focus _only on that spell and your connection to the earth_!" _ Expelliarmus, Expelliarmus, _he thought, disarm the Dark Lord, _Expelliarmus. _Voldemort's wand jerked a little in his hand, but Harry didn't actually disarm him. The Dark Lord growled. "Again, Potter. Try and levitate this candle. You've got to try." He snarled, anger seething below the surface.

"I'm trying! I can hardly do wandless magic, and you're expectnig me to achieve this first time?" Harry retorted, and then turned his concentration to the candle. _Wingardium Leviosa. _He focused all his power into that simple spell. Come on, he thought_, Wingardium Leviosa_! To Harry, and Voldemort's amazement, the candle shot up, and hovered just below the ceiling.

"Well done, Harry! Do it again..." said Voldemort, as Harry let the candle clatter to the floor. Breathing heavily, Harry repeated the incantation in his head, using all his power, drawing energy from the earth. This time, he had more control; it gracefully rose and he let the candle sink down and place its self in Harry's hand. Voldemort grinned, and gave the boy a Pepper Up potion; the spell had drained him. "We are making progress now, Harry! In a few short weeks, you may be able to cast curses-"

"I don't want to learn curses." stated Harry, digging his fingernails into his palms.

"Excuse Me?" murmered Voldmort, and Harry stood his ground.

"I said, I don't _want_ to learn how to curse people." said Harry simply, now stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"You are _my_ student, and you will do as I say!" snarled the Dark Lord, startling Harry. "You were more than happy to curse my Death Eaters, on numerous occasions!"

"Well, they deserved it! They earned the curses!" shouted Harry. Voldemort's face was grim, and Harry knew what came next. He closed his eyes, and braced himself. "Bring her in..." The Dark Lord murmered.

"I'm.. I'm sorry my Lord?" Came a stuttering voice from the door way.

"BRING. THE PRISONER. IN." He shouted, his anger sparking and sizzling behind the red eyes.

And nothing could prepare Harry for what was next.

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><p>Harry ran towards her frail body, tears in his eyes. He checked her pulse, and breathing, and it seemed she was clinging on to the edge of life.<p>

"Harry!" she breathed, grabbing his hand. "What happened to you, Potter?" Harry visualised his battered face, and his gaunt features.

"I'm fine, Professor." smiled Harry.

"We...we thought you were dead!" she whispered. "I'm so glad you're alive..."

"Professor McGonagall, we both know I manage to survive the most impossible situations." Harry almost laughed.

"Harry!" snapped Voldemort, and Harry looked up, "This is punishment!" Realisation hit Harry like a wave.

"NO!" screamed the teenager, shielding Minerva's body. The teacher looked confused.

"What's the matter, Harry?" she asked, glancing between the Dark Lord, and the boy.

"Why, Minerva, you _are _a professor, aren't you?" Laughed Voldemort, "I thought you would've worked this out!"

"I won't, Professor!" cried Harry, as he brought his knees to his chest, "I can't." Minerva still carried a questioning look, mixed in with fear.

"McGonagall, I'm asking Harry to kill you!" Voldemort turned to Harry, "You've brought this on yourself! You will think again before you talk back to me" He spat, knocking Harry over. Harry scrambled to his feet. Minerva was shocked, especially with Harry's reaction to such a hard blow. It seemed like he'd had worse. Much worse.

"Please, don't make me hurt her! I will do what you say, please, let her go!" pleaded Harry.

"_Crucio_!" screamed Voldemort, and Harry convulsed, on the floor, "You are a disgrace, Potter! You were right, your friends would hate you!" Miverva tried to reach for Harry, only to be restrained by a Death Eater.

When the curses faded away, Harry was curled up on the floor, staring at nothing.

"Forgive me." whispered Harry to no-one in particular, "Please..." . The Professor cried silent tears as she watched the broken young boy hate himself, and the Dark Lord encouraging , Voldemort assumed Harry was begging for _his_ forgiveness

"Of course I will forgive you, Harry!" The boy looked up, startled. "I just want you to practice your magic on Minerva. The curses." Harry shook his head, and glanced in fear between Voldemort and McGonagall. A hand was placed on his shoulder, and Harry flinched.

"What's he done to you, Harry?" whispered McGonagall, her voice thick with tears. Harry looked at her, and bit his lip. "You can curse me, Harry. Just don't let him hurt you." She wiped away his tears, and smiled weakly.

"Potter! Do it, or does Bellatrix need to break your legs again?" the Dark Lord spat. Minerva nodded to Harry reassuringly. Harry closed his eyes, and begged God for forgiveness. _Crucio_, he thought, tears dripping down his cheek, _Crucio_. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to much, because he didn't want it to. Crucio. A gasp came from McGonagall, followed by sobbing. His eyes shot open, and his heart broke as his role-model writhed on the floor. He was overcome with guilt, and wished that something could take her back to Hogwarts. He fell to his knees infront of her and took her hand. _Please,_ Harry pleaded, Take her back. There was a sudden CRACK, and Professor McGonagall was gone.

"WHERE DID SHE GO?" screamed Voldemort, "BRING HER BACK!"

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><p>"Minerva...Professor McGonagall!" she heard someone calling in the distance, but the darkness was all too soothing. "Minerva!" She jolted awake, and screamed,<p>

"Harry! Help, someone's got to help him!"

"Shh, calm down, Minerva, everything's okay! You're at Hogwarts, you're in the hospital wing." said a calming womans voice, stroking her hair.

"But what about Harry?" Minerva whispered, as she identified the woman as Poppy Pomfrey. "What about Harry?"

"I'm getting Albus...and don't you be getting out of bed!" commanded the mediwitch, bustling out of the room, and left McGonagall to remember what had occured that night. She remembered the bruised and scarred face of the young boy, who'd saved her, and was probably going to die because of it. She could remember the broken expression, as he held himself. And his screams as You-Know-Who tortured him.

"Would you mind relaying your story, Minerva?" Albus said kindly, "Lemon Drop?" McGonagall shook her head. She gathered her thoughts, and began.

"It was h-horrible, Albus." she stuttered, "I was taken from my bed at my sisters house, and I woke in a dank place. It was You-Know-Who's mansion, I think. I stayed there for days, I-I think, when I was dragged into this room, an-and I saw-" And she burst in to tears. Albus leant forward and hugged Professor McGonagall.

"It's okay, Minerva." Dumbledore murmered, rubbing the womans back.

"Harry. I saw Harry." she choked out, sobbing into the headmaster's shoulder. Shock took over Dumbledore's body, but he kept himself composed, for Minerva's sake.

"Harry? Would you care to tell me the rest?" Minerva sniffed and nodded.

"He was dressed like a Death Eater, and his face...his face," Minerva whispered, obviously shaken from the memory, "He'd been hurt, badly. He had scars, bruises, open cuts, e-everything. His eyes were full of tears, and guilt. He hated himself, Albus. You-Know-Who had told him we had given up on him, a-and he failed us. He had been tortured, not..not just physically. He'd...given up. You-Know-Who-"

"Call him Voldemort, dear." he cut in kindly, holding her hand.

"V-Voldemort was punishing him for disobeying him, and...his punishment was torturing and...and killing me. Harry refused, and Vo-Voldemort used the cruciatus on him. It seemed like he'd used it many times on him b-before...I told Harry he could do it to me, and Voldemort said that Bellatrix will break his legs again. _Again_, Albus. He did start the curse but I ended up here. And..and he is stuck there, and I have no idea where I was! Help him Albus. Please." Albus had no idea how long they had been in there for, but it was morning by the time they departed to their quarters.

The headmaster was left alone to ponder Harry's fate.

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><p><strong>Review :) xxxx<strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**Yes, I have done a chapter for you:) **

**Getting another reviewer made me happy:D**

**Hope you like it, and please review xx**

**Aisling xx**

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><p>Chapter 8<p>

"Harry...Harry!" Whispered the stranger, shaking the boy from his sleep. Impatience was unsuccessfully hidden in his voice, as his rough hands rocked the frail body. The other man stood by the far wall, arms crossed.

"Yes...?" croaked the half-asleep Harry, opening his eyes.

"I just...want you to know, we may be able to...to help you." Harry was startled, and confused. He made an effort to sit up, but sunk back against the wall.

"Wha-Who are you?"

"I can tell you who we were...we were part of The Order-" Hope shone in the boy's eyes, "However, the past few years, we have been cut off from them, as we were no longer...er...needed." The hope sunk and crumpled in Harry's face, and sadness covered Harry's features. "It may take a while, but we could make contact with The Order, and help get you out of here. It won't be soon, I can tell you that, because if we go near the headquarters, we will be dead as soon as the first wands are raised. But...Do you want our help, Harry?" Harry glanced at the man over the other side.

"Yes." Harry whispered, "Please."

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><p>Ginny touched the faint scar on her neck, and tears formed in her eyes. Everytime she looked in the mirror, her eyes were dragged to where the blade had cut into the pale skin of her neck. She imagined the contrast of red against white, and the pain that stung through. She could remember her quickening heart beat as she saw him dragged away from her. Her eyes pleaded for his help, and her outstreached hand was slammed against the wall. The tears warming her face, her voice sore from screaming.<p>

She could remember the way his dark hair felt between her fingers, the way his smile lit up his features. When he laughed, the way his eyes crinkled, and his eyes shined; his gaze of understanding, the way no-one had understood her before, and the way no-one would understand her again.

Harry Potter was gone.

Ginny couldn't bring herself to say dead; it hurt too much. It was stupid to deny it. He was lost. All she had left was a crumpled picture of Harry and herself, with him kissing her cheek, and bringing his face back to the camera. She loved wizard photos; she couldn't understand how Muggle's could be content with such an image.

She missed the little things the most. The ones she never thought would mean anything; He always put milk in before his cereal, and the way he looked when he'd just woken up; black hair sticking up in tufts on the back of his head, and his face without the glasses she loved so much. The way he'd stare out the window, deep in thought, and he thought no-one was watching him.

_But Harry was gone,_ She sobbed silently. _I miss you_.

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><p><strong>Okaay not really a chapter, It meant to be longer, much longer, but really, the rest of this chapter was pointless, and I didnt really like it any way.<strong>

**A song inspired me to do the Ginny bit and I really think you should take a look at it: www. youtube  .com/watch?v=LBh7Muv0yac**

**Review :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey,**

**Thank you for the reviews:)**

**Here's another Chapter:) I hope I will update soon, but I cant promise anything, as my school is completely unpredictable concerning homework and such :/**

**Aisling xx**

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><p>Chapter 9<p>

Months Later...

Everything had changed. The Death-Eaters could see it, and the Order were suspecting something too. The Dark Lord had an apprentice. He was cold, menacing, and inflicted pain on the helpless. It seemed he was a mirror of Voldemort; He was full of spite, and his eyes portrayed hate with every glare. The Death Eaters almost worshiped him. The apprentice was cunning, and ruthless, sparing no-one in his path. The Order had no idea who he was, but were using all their recorces to find out. His eyes were the colour of the Killing Curse, and anger was unleashed on the weak.

Possibly, the most interesting thing was his gift. He was more power than any wizard in the world, and some would dare to say more than You-Know-Who himself. The apprentice hardly grew weak, and had invented many spells, only known to himself and his master.

This apprentice was Harry Potter.

Anyone outside of The Dark Lord's inner circle who knew had been obliviated, and the traitor killed by the boy himself. Nobody would recognise him; his face was contorted with anger, his scar covered, and his glasses were long gone. You would sense the power once he walked into the room, and it made the Death Eaters bow to one knee. Many of them considered an imperius curse was used, but they were silenced by Potter's glare.

This was the closest Voldemort had gotten to someone before, and his followers continued to be astonished. The Dark Lord commanded that Harry be treated with as much respect as himself.

The Order had lost hope. Almost.

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><p>Harry swept into the room, his black robes swirling around his feet. His eyes were cold, and the young Death Eaters in the room almost cowered.<p>

"My Lord..." said Harry, bowing low, before nodding curtly at the followers. Voldemort inclined his head and guestured for Harry to take a seat.

"Leave us." commanded the Dark Lord. Death Eaters shuffled out, murmering, leaving the two alone. Harry conjured two glasses of wine, handing one to the man opposite him.

"Any news, My Lord?" he murmered, sipping his wine, "From the raid?"

"No, not yet...although we are planning an attack on St Zarcus, the wizarding school in India." replied the Dark Lord. Harry looked up.

"May I ask why?" he inquired, no longer touching his wine. "What is there to gain?" Voldemort laughed coldly.

"What is there not to gain?" He stood abruptly, and began to pace, his steps echoing through the stone. "Power, and fear. We need to prove what we can do, so we shall not be challenged."

"I see now, my Lord..." replied Harry, "And when shall this event take place?"

"In two days. We shall begin to plan immediatly."

"Alert me when the attack will begin." Harry bowed, and strode out of the room. _He has changed_, thought Voldemort, _very much so._

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><p>He sat in his office, head in his hands. He didn't know what to do. It had been months, months since he'd last seen Harry, and he still had no clue where he was. Dumbledore refused to believe he was dead; Albus didn't plan it like this. <em>This wasn't how it was supposed to go<em>. Harry had to find the Horcrux's, and defeat Voldemort at the _right time. _Dumbledore racked his brain at every spare moment he had, inventing ridiculous plans that would never work. The wizarding world was losing hope - their saviour was gone, and no-one had the courage to fight back.

However, someone was helping them. Every now and again, an owl would arrive, addressed to Headmaster. Albus was suspicious at first, but soon learnt that the sender meant no harm. The sender had saved lives. The letters they sent included details of attacks, so they could re-enforce, and news of weapons. The Headmaster tried to make contact with this person, but there was no reply. Only information.

For one moment, Albus hoped it was Harry. That idea was pushed out of his mind, when the sender refused to make personal contact. Harry would reply to Dumbledore.

Darason and Klark were trying to make contact with the Order. Dumbledore refused to welcome them in; they had both betrayed the Order before. This, however, did not stop the pair from sending information to the Order's way, which proved useful. Apparently, they had someone on the inside, who was close to Voldemort. Albus found it hard to believe any of this, but used the information. Who ever the sender was, and whoever was 'on the inside', well, they were saving lives. And Albus was eternally grateful.

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><p><strong>Thanks For Reading :) <strong>

**xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Helloo:) **

**Yeah I'm reeally behind in my homework, and its my birthday soon, _and_ my familes friend who we havent seen for years is coming over, so things are a teensie weensie bit crazy round here. I just wanted to get this out, but I'm not to happy with the quality.**

**Oh well:) Okay I want your truthfull answers here!**

**1. What do you think of the story so far?**

**2. What do you think will happen?**

**3. What do you want to happen?**

**Tell me your answers in the reviews or PM me:) **

**Aisling xxx**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

Ginny pushed through the crowds, a tear falling down her face. She ran, and called his name, whilst Ron sprinted after her, grabbing her hand, pleading her to stop. She shoved through the bustling people of the London Underground, red hair flying behind her. Hope rose in her chest, flying high, forcing tears to fall in happiness. She'd spotted his black mop in the crowds, but he kept moving away.

"Get out of my way!" shouted Ginny, standing on her tip toes.

"Ginny, stop!" called Ron, his voice thick with tears. "Dont-" But she wasn't listening. She found him. Ginny caught up with the black haired boy, and placed a shaky hand on his shoulder. He whipped round, and Ginny's heart sank. Dark brown, harsh eyes glared back into her face. There was no lightning-shaped scar on his forehead, and his features were completley different.

"Yes?" spat the man harshly, jerking out of her grip. Tears began to fall down her cheeks, and his face softened. A little.

"I'm sorry...I thought you were someone...someone else." choked out the girl, turning away in shame and disappointment. The brown eyed man stalked away, leaving Ginny standing surrounded, but completely alone.

"Ginny..?" whispered a voice softly. Ginny's eyes met her brothers bright blue ones, and she broke down in his arms. Ron was shocked; having 6 brothers hardened her up a bit, and she hardly ever cried, and definately not in public. However, it felt like they were the only two people in the world, broken, and lost. "It's okay..." comforted Ron, rubbing her back. "He will come back...I know he will..." But even he had a hard time believing those words. He found it easier to believe what the Ministry said.

Harry was dead.

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><p><em>Damn it!<em> thought Alistair Klark, moving along the path of the Manor. The Order still refused to trust him and Darason, but expected them to give up all their information! He growled in frustration and began to walk with a faster pace. Alistair wouldn't have stopped, if he hadn't seen him. A dark shadow was skuttling back to the castle, keeping their head low. Klark knew who he was, and anger bubbled, his earlier frustration adding to it. He veered away from his path toward the shadowy figure, gaining on him fast.

Alistair pushed him against the wall, causing the mans body to lock in surprise.

"_What the hell _do you think you're doing?" Klark hissed, "How could you be more obvious?" He was pushed back by a great invisible force, smashing his head against the wall.

"I-I'm sorry, I can't control it very well under pressure!" he apologised, helping Alistair up, who groaned.

"Never would've guessed..." Klark muttered, rubbing his head. "But what the hell are you doing out here? I thought we had an agreement!"

"But they _trust _me Alistair! They need to know-"

"But we need them to trust _us_! There's no point if they're getting the same information from two sources! How are we supposed to get you out, if you keep playing the bloody hero?" shot Klark, who took a step back when the man opposite's eyes went cold.

"They aren't getting it fast enough through you two! People are_ dying_- can't you see that?"

"You being stuck here isn't helping anyone." retorted Alistair, folding his arms across his chest.

"Yeah, and its not hurting anyone either. I don't want anyone to hurt because of me! I'm more use here than anywhere else!"

"Harry, you can't deny that you want to get out of here." Klark whispered.

"It doesn't matter what I want. It never did, and that's not going to change now." Harry murmered, closing his eyes.

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><p>A black owl soared through the sky, weaving in and out of the clouds, scanning the land below. It dipped down, spreading its wings, gliding gracefully to the window, and offering out its leg. Dumbledore detached the paper, but the owl flew away as quickly as it arrived. He shot tracking spells at the owl, but missed every time. Albus threw his wand across the room in frustration, but opened the letter just the same.<p>

_Tuesday 20th September,_

_St Zarcus, India,_

_G._

Albus sighed, and began to send out the message. There would be an attack on St Zarcus on the 20th, and he was no closer finding out who G was. Yes, he was grateful, but he had a bad feeling about G. Was he (or her, for that matter) in danger? What might happen if they were found out to be helping the Order? Was all this a trick?

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><p><strong>Thanks For Reading :)<strong>

**Even if you hate it, review just to tell me how much xD xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hellloo:)**

**Just gonna warn you that update might not be for a while, but hopefully will be soon:)**

**Thank you so much for reading! You guys are lovely (especially traviswj!)3**

**Its a short one, but anyway here you go:)**

**Okay I want your truthful answers here!**

**1. What do you think of the story so far?**

**2. What do you think will happen?**

**3. What do you want to happen?**

**Tell me your answers in the reviews or PM me:) **

**Aisling xxx**

* * *

><p>Chapter 11<p>

_Her bright hair shone, glittering in the sunlight. It hung around her shoulders, framing her face. Her eyes were a beautiful dark green; however, they were filled with hate. She looked at him in disgust, and shook her head angrily. She spat at his feet, and glared._

_"I'm sorry-" Harry tried to apologise._

_"I don't want to hear it!" she shrieked, shoving his chest. She turned away from him, and broke into a run._

_"Ginny! Please! Come back!" he shouted, grabbing her hand. She jerked away._

_"Look at what you've done!" she cried, "The people you've murdered - You let us down Harry!"_

_"Ginny." He bit his lip; he wouldn't cry, not today. Harry's voice was thick, and he swallowed._

_"You're meant to be our saviour! You were supposed to help us! And-" She blinked back tears, " You're dead to me, Harry. To all of us." It was then that Harry let the tears fall; he tried to touch Ginny, but she just moved further back every time. "You've failed. _I hate you_!"_

_"Ginny!" _

Harry sat up, soaked in sweat, panting. He brought his hand up to his face, only to find tears wetting his cheeks. _It was just a dream. Only a dream_. Harry was shaken, and filled with guilt. He really had done horrible things, and he deserved what dream-Ginny said to him. However, that didn't mean it didn't hurt him. His hand moved to his arm, and felt the scars that lay there. 82 notches lay on his arms. It sounds a lot, but these marks fit on his arms perfectly; they were a part of him. Really, it surprised Harry that no-one had noticed, and he was grateful for that. A sudden thought caught him. He didn't have a cut for today.

He moved to the mahogany dresser, and dug to the bottom of the drawer. Harry pulled out the knife, and gazed at it longingly. Light reflected off the blade, and it shone. Harry's heart felt like a stone when it reminded him of Ginny's hair; beautiful, and radiant. Guilt coursed through his veins, numbing his body.

He brought the blade to his upper arm, one of the only places left without a scar. A shiver shook him when the metal touched his skin. Breathing heavily, he drew the knife across his skin, pressing deep, wishing, begging it to hurt him more than he was already. He gazed at the cut, and squeezed to make it bleed, to make it sting._ I hope that one day you can all forgive me..._

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><p><strong>THANK YOU SO MUCH!<strong>

**REVIEW:) XX**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey There!**

**I thought I wouldn't update for a while, but for now I use fanfiction as a procrastination method from homework...:D**

**I hope you like it, but if you don't, review and tell me how much you hate it! (and maybe something on how to make it better..?)**

**I'm not actually sure how many people are reading this, but oh well:)**

**Sorry I keep forgetting to mention, my laptop doesn't have spell check, and I really am a horrendous speller, so if you spot any mistakes, please tell me:)**

**Hope I will update soon!**

**Aisling xx**

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><p>Chapter 12<p>

Even the simplest person has layers. However, most layers aren't too different from one another. Usually the layers have some sort of connection, although some don't. Harry Potter had such layers.

His first layer was his outside appearance; Cold, menacing, and one of the most powerful wizards of today. He was cruel, and merciless. This is what everyone saw. Voldemort's pet, and high servant.

His other layers were much more complex. And no-one knew how much so.

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><p>The scars on his arms reminded him of what he'd done. How he'd hurt people. You see, now, they weren't just to keep track of the days; they were punishment. Punishment to himself.<p>

He hated himself, no, _loathed_ himself. He hated what he had become, and he hated who he was. Harry didn't want to be at Voldemort's side; he wanted to run away and hide. This wasn't who he was. Harry's only chance of getting out was being Voldemort's pet. He acted cruel, and heartless, but despised every minute of it.

He'd killed people. Murdered them. Harry had watched the light leave their eyes, and the hope turn into fear when they realised that Harry Potter had turned to the Dark Lord, and was going to kill them. He was meant to save them. All of them.

Instead, they had been slaughtered. By him.

Harry didn't want to be this person, but he soon realised that he was more help there than anywhere else. But he hated it. The cuts were to punish him, but it was never enough. Everytime it went deeper and deeper, and Harry found it hurt less and less. It still stung, but it wasn't...enough.

He didn't know what to do; he spent the last month trying to find the Secret Keeper of Voldemort's mansion, without prevail. He had almost complete control over _Nullam Tellus_, except when under pressure. Nobody had even a hint at his power's source , and he had mastered nearly every spell. However, it seemed he was amounting to nothing.

Apart from helping the Order. Whenever he found out anything, he would alert them. Darason and Klark were the only people he could trust, they were the men who found him in the cellar. But they weren't fast enough. Attacks were short notice, and the men couldn't get away from Voldmort, to alert the others, so Harry had no choice but to tell them himself.

He felt guilty, and lost. In his rooms at night, he screamed, smashed things, and threw his fist into the wall. The young boy would collapse on the ground, sobbing, smacking his head. He had given in. People had died. And it was all his fault.

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><p>The sun sunk into the ground, bathing the grounds in darkness. Harry stood at the edge of the cliff, wind rustling his hair. Cold air bit into his skin, but he dismissed it. All was silent, excusing the distant murmurs of the Death Eaters. The castle below him slept soundly, not sensing the great danger that lay a few minutes away. He hoped they had got his message, but there was no way of knowing. He breathed out when he saw a white flash of light outside of the entrance. Dumbledore was here.<p>

The battle would begin.

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><p>Through the darkness, flashes of light flared up, and screams pierced the nighttime silence. In the mist, people shot curses everywhere, as the the dust and rubble limited their vison. There were thuds and bangs, as the dead hit the floor. There were the sobs of the children left behind, the one's who had no home to go to. The cackling of the Death Eaters, as they tortured a young girl of about 11 with the cruciatus.<p>

Harry couldn't take it.

Tension and fear built in his chest. The the mask he created for himself remained plastered on his face, and he wasn't talking about the Death Eater one. He slashed and whipped his wand, shooting the curses, fury in his eyes. Nobody could see the fear behind them. He deliberatly missed for most of them, however he dueled most of the unknown Order. He tried not to hurt them, but really, he had to. Death Eaters were staring in confusion when Harry didn't kill anyone.

But then, through the mist, he saw her. Hair tucked behind her ear, anger burning in her eyes, she shot hexes towards anyone who approached. She screamed curses, hatred contorting her face. Harry felt a tear drop down his cheek, before he felt a curse soaring through the air behind him. He whipped round and thought _Protego_! He dueled the unnamed man, before taking his life, and turned round to find Ginny gone.

"GINNY!"

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><p>"Ginny..." she heard in the distance. She froze. It was him. It was<em> his voice. <em>Her mind tried to reason with her, but her heart called out to him. Harry. Harry was_ here_. Her heart raced, and she felt the hope rise in her chest. She began to run, before a hand caught her arm.

"Ginny, I know what you're thinking!" shouted Ron, "He's not here! We need you in battle!"

"But I know it's him, please Ron-" she pleaded, before Ron silenced her with a shaking head.

It was then Ron fell to the ground, eyes rolling back into his head. Ginny screamed, and fell to her knees, cradling his head in her lap. She looked up to find a man grinning at the fallen body of her brother.

"CRUCIO!" screeched Ginny, rising to her feet, as the man fell to the floor convulsing. She watched him with a cruel sense of satisfaction. However, realisation felt cold when she realised what she was doing. Harry wouldn't have done it.

The man passed out, and Ginny crouched to Ron, and felt a faint pulse in his neck. He was barely alive. _Help...Please..._

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><p><strong>REVIEW:D<strong>


	13. Chapter 13

**Okay guys,**

**This is a rubbish excuse of a chapter, but things have been crazy busy!**

**But thank you SO MUCH for reviewing, and adding this to your story alert list! You have no idea how happy this has made me :D**

**I will try and update soon, but can't promise anything :/**

**Aisling xx**

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><p>Chapter 13<p>

"Someone has betrayed us."

Death Eaters murmered in agreement, anticipation seeping through their midst. Fearful glances were exchanged among the followers; the traitor would be killed. They shifted, and avoided the Dark Lord's glares.

"Anybody with any..." Voldemort's eyes pierced those daring enough to look up, "_Any_, knowledge of who this traitor may be, must come forward_...Now_." The Death eaters glanced gingerly around, eyeing up their personal suspects.

But no-one moved.

The air felt cold and sharp, and whispers were exchanged. Even being suspected of betraying Voldemort would result in death. And helping the traitor? Their fate would be worse than death. Feet shuffled, and the odd person coughed, as the Dark Lord inspected the followers expressions. Those few moments seemed to last for hours.

"I have spiked each of you will a large dose of Veritiserum..." he said, "And questioning will begin...immediately. Yaxley!" The man jumped, before composing himself.

"Yes..my Lord." he replied shakily.

"You are first. _Follow_." There was so much power held in that one word, that Yaxely scuttled out of the room, tailing Voldemort. Murmurs became louder, and soon a full blown shouting match was in flow. This would not end well.

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><p>"What am we meant to do?" he exclaimed, grasping Alistairs arm.<p>

"How am I supposed to know?" he hissed, glancing around suspicously.

"You two are talking way too loud..." murmered a quiet voice, silencing the conversing men.

"Harry!" they shouted, only to be shushed urgently.

"Klark. Darason." Harry nodded. "Now calm down. Don't Panic."

"But Harry!" said Darason, "He's got the Veritserum...we can't resist it." For a moment, all they could hear was the deep breathing. Harry's eyes darkened, and he grabbed the two men by there arms, dragging them away.

"Harry-"

"Shut up!" he snapped. "We were being watched." This statement was met by wide open mouths and startled looks. "We need a plan. Now."

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><p>Sitting by his bed, Ginny cried. She let the tears fall freely, making no effort to contain them. She sat beside the limp body of her brother, whose breathing was so faint, Ginny wasn't even sure he was alive. Her warm clammy hand found Ron's stone cold one, and her tears dropped onto the back.<p>

"I'm sorry..." she whispered, brushing his hair back, "I..I just miss him so much. I thought I saw him. But this is my fault. I'm so sorry."

Ron shifted in his sleep, moving his head towards Ginny's hand. She smiled weakly. Ron was alive.

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><p><strong>THANK YOU SO MUCH :D<strong>

**I LOVE YOU GUYS x**


	14. Chapter 14

**Helloo:)**

**Well, another short one :/ I have alot of homework to do at the moment so dont expect any thing soon :(**

**Just thought I'd tell you this: I found a 'novel' I wrote when i was 3 or 4 in the attic this morning and it was so cute:)**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING:) **

**I couldn't ask for anyone better3**

**Aisling xx**

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><p>Chapter 14<p>

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><p>The room was dark and cold. He couldn't see anything, aside from the shadows gliding around the room. His breathing was laboured, and he could faintly hear another on the other side of the room. He squinted, and leaned forward, trying to get a better look. He tried to reach out in front of him, but found his hands were bound.<p>

"Hello..?" he called out weakly. Darason hated to be out of control.

"Good evening." replied a cold voice, and footsteps came closer. "Its time for your questioning."

"Questioning?" stuttered James.

"Do you know who the traitor is, James Darason?" hissed the voice, right by his ear. James swallowed. _Remember what Harry said...Concentrate_._ Keep your occumulcy* sheilds strong._

"No." he bit out, clenching his fists.

"Do you know anything?"

James could feel the potion churning at his insides, drawing the truth from his mind. Sweat glistened on his forehead.

"No." His eyes stung, and it took all of his will power not to let all his information go. Harry trusted him, and James could not betray him.

"_Crucio_!" the voice screeched, and the shot of pain hit Darason square in the chest, knocking the chair over. James thrashed in the ropes, arching his back, gazing up in desperation at the shadow looming above him.

"I'm going to ask you again...Who is the traitor?" sneered the shadow. The man's shields were down, and he was weak. The words the came next reluctantly rolled off his tongue in a croak.

"Harry Potter..."

There was a sudden flash, and bright glaring lights flickered on.

"Bring him to me. _Now_."

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><p>"Gin...I know how you feel. I really do. But you've got to let go." said Ron, holding her hand lightly. In St Mungo's, he had just become concious a mere 2 hours ago. Ginny was sobbing out apologies, whilst Molly stared in confusion. When things had calmed down, and Ginny had composed herself, they began to talk.<p>

"I can't, Ron. I love him too much. I know he's out there somewhere! I would know if he died!" she cried. Ron gazed at her sadly.

"Ginny..."

And in swooped an owl, clutching a tattered note in its talon. It read a simple, scrawled message.

_HELP._

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><p><strong>I hope you liked it :D xx<strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**Hi,**

**I am so sorry! You have had to wait so long:/**

**I have had so much homework, and I still have a lot to do,**

**So you have a teenie weenie chapter because I didn't want you to think I had forgotten about you!**

**Thank you so much for readingJ**

**Review:D**

**Aisling x**

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><p>Chapter 15<p>

Harry gritted his teeth, and clenched his fists. As he shook on the floor, body rigid, he tried to detach his mind. Over the months, whilst he had gotten stronger, he had also forgotten the sheer pain of the cruciatus curse that ripped his muscles and tore at his flesh.

"You think you could fool me? _The Dark Lord_?" snarled his tormentor. Harry lay there, motionless. "_Answer me_!" He bit his lip.

"No. No one can fool you." replied Harry shortly, nails biting into his palms.

"That's right, Harry." He whispered, "I am going to kill you. _Slowly._ Your friends shall die in front of you, knowing what you have become, and what you have done. They will all know." Harry closed his eyes and tried to block out Voldemort. But he couldn't. "They will know about the people you have murdered, the families you have torn apart. I am not even going to give you a chance this time." Dread overcame his body and mind, and his arm began to tingle. He needed the knife. He needed to feel the cold against his skin. But this time, he wanted it all to end.

"Just end it…End it all…Kill me_. Please__._" whispered Harry. Voldemort laughed; a cold, cruel, merciless sound.

"You think that I should give you mercy?" said Voldemort, "When you refused all off those innocent's pleas? Why should I be merciful to you, when you…you are worse than me?" A creature inside Harry screamed and clawed at his heart. He had been denying this all along. _Please_, thought Harry, _Kill me_.

"_Crucio_!" the Dark Lord snarled. Harry screamed, and writhed, and dug his nails into his palms. Blood seeped out of his clenched fists, and the first tears dragged down his face. "You are mine, Harry Potter."

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><p><strong>Sorry:( x<strong>


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey,**

**There hasn't been many updates lately, and I apologise for that. School has been really overwhelming, and I just cant seem to get things done! Hope you like this one:)**

**I thought i might share the songs that inspired me to write this fanfiction, I really advise that you check them out:**

**- You Found Me by The Fray**

**- Broken by Lifehouse**

**- I'm in Here by Sia**

**- From Where You Are by Lifehouse (for the Ginny bits:P)**

**Thanks for reading and please review:) Its really encourages me to write ;) **

**Aisling xx**

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><p>Chapter 15,<p>

Alistair paced down the room, his mind working overtime. The cogs in his brain reeled and his hangs were wrung. What was he going to do? Harry was down there alone and he could do nothing. He was the only one left. Klark needed to find a way. Somehow, Voldemort had used the magic of the fidelius charm and mutated it to hide a person; in this case, Harry. There was a secret keeper, but better wizards than Alistair had tried to find him. He hoped Harry would forgive him for what he was about to do. On his desk, a crumpled piece of paper lay, and a tattered quill with it. Klark hastily scrawled _HELP_, and sent his owl off into the night.  
>Hopefully it would find someone who cared about Harry as much as he did.<p>

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><p>Harry sucked in his breath, and clenched his fists. The blade dug into his skin; they were no longer perfect straight cuts, he slashed at his arm, as if desperate for the pain. Which, of course, he was.<br>Tears dropped into the open wound, and mingled with the blood on his face. Harry was back in the place he had fought so hard to get out of. He was trapped in his own mind. He wanted out. He'd had enough.  
>Guilt and self-hate filled him once more, engulfing him. He had failed. Harry thought of Ginny, and how she would shun him for what he had done. He thought of Ron, he would hate him for leaving his sister, for leaving his father to die. He thought of Hermione, and her belief that Harry was good and true, and would remain that way. What would she think now? He was meant to be the Chosen One. He was meant to save them.<br>Honestly, it seemed to Harry they were better off without him. Dying would be doing them a favour. It felt as if a cold hand was grasping his heart.  
>His mind was made up.<br>Images of his friends flashed before his eyes, piercing his heart. Images of the terrible things he had done flickered in between. Harry had never felt this way before. He wanted out. He'd had enough.

His shaky hand grasped the blade, and he pressed deep into his wrist. He gasped in pain, and dragged the knife down his wrist. Blood welled up faster than before, drenching his skin. On his other wrist, he did the same. His arms cried out in pain, and the blade clattered on to the floor.

"Ginny...Hermione...Ron..." whispered Harry, "..I wish I could be the hero you wanted me to be.."

And so, the Chosen One fell to the floor.

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><p>The stones shuddered, and creaked. The structure swayed jerkily, groaning. There was a eerie silence throughout the building. Even the owls were mute.<p>

Death Eaters felt shivers down their spines, and Voldemort felt something tugging at what was left of his soul.

The building seemed to cry out to them, to alert the people.

They were exposed. The Fidelius charm had fallen.

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><p>Harry drifted through the darkness, his head pounding rapidly. His breathing was ragged, and his body felt like it was ripping itself apart. There was a strange feeling of calm. He felt safe. A great weight was being lifted off of him, he was finally free. No responsibility, no expectations; he was<em> just Harry<em>. He could be himself. He wanted to slip away, unnoticed, lost to the world...never to be found.

Behind his eyelids, lights flashed, and screams sounded. There were thumps, and shouting. Harry could faintly hear curses being thrown, and explosions shook his frame. _Leave me...leave me in peace_, he pleaded. The shouting got louder, nearer. Harry just wanted to go, but something was pulling him back.

"_Harry..!_"

Someone was calling his name.

"_Harry! Where are you?" _cried a voice beyound the darkness, behind his eyelids. "_Please!_" she screamed.

He was so close, so close to the end. It was unbearable. Footsteps ran closer, and they slowed, echoing faintly. He felt soft warm hands come in to contact with his face, and his eyelids fluttered open. A fuzzy figure moved above him, but he all he could make out brilliant red hair hanging round their face.

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><p><strong>PLEASE REVIEW:) x<strong>


	17. Chapter 17

**Hi,**

**Not supposed to be using the internet, but oh well :)**

**Please tell me what you think! If you hate it...well tell me what i can do to fix it?**

**Aisling xx**

* * *

><p>Chapter 17<p>

She ran down the narrow black corridors, stumbling in the dark, her breathing echoing around her. Curses sounded around her, as the others fought. She had to find him. Blood trickled down the side of her face and her eyes threatened to break down into tears. The girl panted, and ran, her feet clattering in the puddles on the stone. The hallways seemed endless, twisting and turning like a rollercoaster. People were gaining on her from behind, and she hoped they were just the Order. A dark figure jumped out in front, and hissed,

"Hello, blood-traitor." The girl screamed and fell backwards, hitting her head hard on the moist stone floor. She scrambled away, although she could not see where she was going. The Death Eater cackled, an shot a hex at her. She dodged, and hit her head on the wall. Clutching her battered skull, she began to shoot curses back at her attacker. Harry meant too much to her. She had to save him. The girl shot a body bind hex, and sprinted round a corner, as if it were the end of a race. She passed another corner, and used the wall to support her body. Breathing heavily, she spurred on. He was here. She knew it. And she had to find him.

She arrived in a creepy corridor, with lots of heavily bolted doors. He had to be here.

"Harry?" she shouted, kicking open the first doors. "Harry! Where are you?" she cried, tears pushing down her cheeks. "PLEASE." Footsteps became louder behind her, and she threw open the last door. Shock took her over, as she looked down onto the broken frame of the young man curled up in the corner. The floor was covered in blood. It was his. "Harry...what have they done to you?" she whispered, crouching down beside him, stroking his hair. Harry groaned, and turned around, exposing his wrists. The girl gasped in fear. Harry was going to die if they didn't get out of here soon. The battle continued to rage behind her, and she raised a shaky hand and placed it carefully on his bloody cheek. Harry's eyes fluttered open, behind the cracked glasses that were roughly slammed onto his face. They swam with guilt and love when he realized who was cradling his face. "Don't worry, you're okay...I'm here. It's me. Ginny."

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><p>Ginny was crouched over the shaking Harry, when Ron and Hermione burst in, the rest of the Order said to be close behind. Hermione could hardly breathe, and clutched Ron's arm to stop her falling. They couldn't believe that the boy on the floor was Harry; he wasn't the same.<p>

"Ginny, we have to get him out of here, now!" Ron said, tugging her arm. Stay composed; Ginny repeated silently, stay calm.

"No." All three heads turned towards the source of this statement.

"Harry?" whispered Hermione,

"Just let me die. Please." pleaded the boy, his eyes drifting shut. They stared in disbelief.

"You don't mean that Harry…Let us take you away from here…" babbled Ron, attempting to lift Harry up. He jerked away, and backed gingerly against the wall, his head spinning.

"You've left me here this long…why now? I'm so close to the end. I've put every one of you in danger; I can't do it anymore. I want out-"

"Enough." A deep voice, deadly serious, sounded from the door way. And there Albus Dumbledore stood, in all his glory. He strode towards the lifeless body of Harry Potter, and grasped his arm. "Ron, Hermione? My arm, if you please."


	18. Chapter 18

**Hi:)**

**Please tell me what you think; I really do want to know:)**

**And if you want something to happen in the story, PM me or just review!**

**Aisling x**

* * *

><p>Chapter 18<p>

"He's not...right. Is he?"

"He hasn't been out of his room. Except for meals-"

"Its not like he speaks during them!"

"_Shh_! He's just up there..."

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><p>Everyone was worried about him. Harry locked himself in his room all day, save for breakfast and dinner, in which he rarely uttered a word. It seemed to be a dangerous silence- a wrong move and Harry would explode. People crept round Grimmauld Place like someone had died, although really, someone had. The Old Harry had died. The one with laughter and hope in his eyes. The New Harry was introverted, scared, and sad. He was locked in his own mind.<p>

The Order expected him to be overjoyed to be back, however it was almost the opposite. It was hitting Ginny the hardest; she'd tried so hard to get through to him, but nothing seemed to work. She loved him so much, and it almost killed her to see him in pain. Things weren't looking good.

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><p>"Ah, good morning Harry, dear- do come sit down." Said Mrs. Weasley, bustling around the kitchen, busying herself with breakfast. It was another morning at the Order headquarters; everyone was at the table, Molly was rushing around, trying to evade the help of ever clumsy Tonks, and noise noticeably died down when Harry entered the room.<p>

"Hey, Harry...Chudley Cannons match on Friday, you up for it?" said Ron loudly, trying to shift everyone's attention. They must have taken the hint, because conversation started once more, although they still all watched the boy from the corner of their eye.

"Um. Thanks for the offer, but no." Harry replied quietly, taking a seat on the far end of the long table, away from everyone else. Cereal came whizzing through the air, and landed neatly in front of the boy, and once again the table fell silent. Molly was staring at her empty hand, obviously wondering if she'd thrown it at him. Harry just kept stirring his bowl, and reading the newspaper, until he realized everyone was staring at him. "Sorry." he muttered apologetically, continuing to eat.

"You can do wandless magic Harry?" blurted Hermione. The whole table seemed to lean forward.

"Kind of..." Harry muttered uncomfortably, before he left the room, his cereal unfinished.

"Well done everyone. Make him feel _right_ at home." snapped Mrs. Weasley, handing out more bowls and plates of toast. Another great start to the day.

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><p>Her hand rapped on the door gently, and she heard him shift inside. She knocked again, this time a little louder.<p>

"Harry?" Ginny called. "Want to talk?" She heard him mutter some inaudible reply, and she knocked again. "Please. Let me in. I'm sorry about everyone at breakfast- it was really insensitive and-" Ginny stopped herself before babbling.. "Harry. You tried to kill yourself. Please. Let me help you." Ginny pleaded, pressing a hand against the door, itching to get closer. She sighed. She wondered if she should try again. Oh well. He probably wasn't listening anyway.


	19. LunaBeth203

**Hey Everyone:)**

**I found this amazing author, and she's trying to get her reviews for the story His Secret up to 50, so go and check her out! Her pen name is LunaBeth203 and she really is awesome!**

**Again, thank you so much for reading! Your reviews really are lovely, and I can't thank you enough.**

**Aisling xx**


	20. Chapter 19

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while, I haven't been very well. I know this is short, but it's the best I could do :P**

**I will update soon, and it will be longer.**

**Again, Please check out LunaBeth203's stories, they really are amazing! I love reading them!**

**Thanks for reading, its really means so much!**

**Aisling Aberdyfi xx**

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><p>Chapter 19<p>

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><p>He felt empty. Hollow. Like nothing could ever fill him again. He would stare at nothing, just letting time tick by, waiting for the end. Sometimes, Harry would get angry, and kick and scream and curse everything. When the feeling passed, he realized that it accomplished nothing. And the guilt sunk in. Everyone had tried to reach out to him, but he just pushed them away. Nobody else will get hurt. He wouldn't let them, even if it meant hurting himself.<p>

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><p>Hermione sat with her back against the door, head resting against it. Her eyes threatened to close, and yawns interrupted her. She knew Harry was in there, and she knew he was listening. Or rather, he wasn't asleep. Harry didn't really sleep. Not anymore.<br>"Harry?" she called out, "I know you're awake." Hermione heard the creak of springs as he got up from his bed. Hope inflated a bubble within her chest. The girl leapt away from the door and stared at it intently. A couple of moments past until she came to the conclusion that he wasn't coming out. The bubble was brutally popped. Hermione crawled towards the door, and gingerly placed a hand against the rough wood. She took a deep breath.  
>"You know what I have always admired about you, Harry? Your ability to keep moving. After all you have been through, after Voldemort tried to kill you in first year, after the whole school believing you were the heir of slytherin, the basilisk, after being put through hell because no-one would tell you the truth, after witnessing Voldemort return and Sirius' de- " Hermione caught herself, " Fifth year, you stayed strong. You got back up to fight again. You stayed true. I'm not trying to say I understand, I don't. I have no idea what happened when you were taken by Voldemort, but I know that you will get back up. Because I know you."<br>There was a shuffling sound inside, and then silence. Hermione sighed. She tried her hardest, and failed. Well, if Ginny couldn't do it, Hermione didn't stand a chance. She got to her feet and trudged back to her room. _Please come back to us Harry_, she thought.

What Hermione didn't know was that very boy had pressed his back to the other side of the door and tears had filled his eyes, for the first time since he returned.

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><p><strong>PLEASE REVIEW :)<strong>


	21. Chapter 21

**Hi:)**

**Sorry its been a long time, but I have two really important essays in for Monday, and I won't be able to write much until then:/**

**I hope you like this tiny chapter, but I will get organised and update more, I promise:)**

**Aisling Aberdyfi xx**

* * *

><p>"That's the thing- we don't know."<p>

"You must have some idea...he must have let something slip to someone."  
>"He hasn't spoken to anyone-"<br>"Poppy's done a scan on his magic core, something happened; a big change, he's really unstable..."

"We need to find out what they did to him whilst he was there-"

"Yeah, but he's not going to tell us is he?"

"Why don't we give it ago? What's the worst that could happen.."

"Oh I don't know, probably kill himself? He's fragile-"

"Oh come on! I know Harry, and he wouldn't kill himself if someone asked him a question!"

"He's different now! He's changed! He's-"

The latest Order meeting was in total chaos, people were shouting, insults were being thrown. People were fighting and the anger radiated from the room. The thin room was illuminated by the fluttering candles, and the chandelier swayed slightly. The Order seemed past the point of no return.

And then came the abrupt silence. Albus Dumbledore stood in the door way overlooking the scene.

"Take a seat." Said Albus quietly, placing himself at the end of the table. People exchanged anxious looks, and gingerly sat down, deafening silence filling the room. People fidgeted and coughed. "Let's get this meeting started shall we?"

"Sir, I really do think we need to do something about Harry-" Kingsley started,

"Yeah me too-" and the room was filled with numerous affirmative nods. The volume rose, at least until Dumbledore raised his right hand.

"Any reports, Severus?" All eyes turned towards the sallow-faced man at the end of the table, who'd remained silent for the entirety of the meeting.

"I regret to inform you all that, as a result of Harry not being found, the Dark Lord lashed out and destroyed a young wizard school in France. All that was left was rubble, bodies…and the Dark Mark." The cold voice cut through the eerie silence. Nobody seemed to breathe for a moment. Dumbledore coughed.

"Thank you, Severus." The Headmaster seemed to struggle for words, "I will be sending people out to recover that, ah, mess."

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><p>His ear was pressed firmly against the door, and his eyes were closed. He listened intently. Harry was no longer invited to the Order meetings, but that was alright with him. He still found out what was going on without having to sit in a crowded room with people chucking questions at him. Odd words drifted in and out of the room;<p>

"_Need to do something about Harry-"_

"_Reports?"_ This was the bit the boy wanted to hear. He held his breath.

"_Harry not being found…Dark Lord….and destroyed a young wizard school in France.__"_ Harry's body tensed up, and he pressed himself closer to the door. _Please, no,_ he begged.

"…_was rubble, bodies…and the Dark Mark_." It felt as if a cold clammy hand had clamped around his heart, and pulled it towards his stomach. Harry felt sick, and stumbled towards the stairs. He ran to the bathroom, and threw up in the toilet, clutching his heart. He always let this happen; it was always his fault, why could he just die, why couldn't he just disappear? He would save everyone a lot of trouble. He smacked himself in the head. Hard. He wanted everything to stop, to disappear. He wanted to be free.


	22. Chapter 22

**I owe you all a HUGE apology...**

**I havent updated for so long:( For reasons out of my control, I wasn't able to access my laptop and I have been full of ideas! I will write as much as I can, but I have a huge history project to be in soon, but oh well that can wait. You guys are much more important!**

**This is a tiny chapter, but I will write loads and loads for you!**

**Aisling xx**

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><p>Chapter 21<p>

Harry raised his head, and looked through blurry eyes into the slightly cracked mirror on the wall. The tile felt cold on his bare feet, but he took no notice. His eyes were focused on the lighting shaped scar on his reflections forehead. It was burned into his face, overshadowing all of his other features. All eyes were drawn to his scar when he entered the room. It defined him. He hated it.

It was his fault. He felt cold inside, he felt angry. He wasn't meant to be weak, he wasn't meant to cry. Children cry, girls cry, and heroes don't. He couldn't be the hero. He wished he could. Every fibre in his body yearned to be the hero, but he just couldn't do it. He wasn't good enough. He'd would never be. Harry wanted to fade away, just end. Stop. Cease to exist. He couldn't do it anymore.

The sorting hat got it wrong. Harry wasn't brave. He was a coward.

* * *

><p>Ginny woke in a cold sweat. Something wasn't right. The house was silent; too silent. She jumped up, and listened intently hardly breathing. There was quiet sobbing coming from down the hall. Dread filled her, and she ran, faster than ever before to source of the blood chilling cries. Not Harry, please. She threw open the bathroom door, and froze in shock.<p>

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><p>The rest of the house was awoken by a scream; a young girl's scream<p> 


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey, Aisling here:)**

**Just wanted to apologise, again, for the delay, and the shortness of this chapter. Things have been so busy, and I really will write more. Promise:)**

* * *

><p>He lay, motionless, in the bed with the white crisp sheets. His chest was rising and falling slightly. His clammy hand was grasped between Ginny's, and nothing would convince her to let go. Her food lay untouched beside her, as did his.<p>

Harry hadn't woken up. It had been two days. Two days since Ginny saw him curled up, bleeding with the shattered pieces of the mirror surrounding him. Two days since Harry tried to kill himself. Her cheeks were stained with tears, and her eyes were puffy and tired. She'd hardly slept. The Healers of St Mungo's tried to coax the girl into the bed in the next room, but she refused. She was the one who he'd wake up to see. She would be the first to talk to him.

Molly would bustle in and rearrange the sheets, and brush his hair out of his face, but knew not to disturb Ginny. It would be the same if it were Arthur in that bed. Molly could only wish it was.

Hermione and Ron would spend hours in there with Ginny. Not talking, just waiting. Hoping. Hermione would not let go of Ron's hand throughout the whole experience. She couldn't.

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><p>"Albus, Just Look. Look at them. You have to do something. Albus. Look."<p>

Albus wearily glanced inside the room through the glass window in the door. Ginny was collapsed across Harry protectively. There were white bandages wrapped around Harry's bony wrists. He looked so small, so young, lying in the hospital bed. From the door, he could see the boy's eyes darting around under his eyelids. What Albus would give to see into his mind once more; even asleep, Harry's mind could defend against any incoming Leglimens.

"What can we do, Albus? You don't think I didn't hear his nightmares? You think I don't know what they've done?"

"Nobody knows, Minerva, not exactly!" said Dumbledore harshly,

"I was there!" She hissed, "Not for long, but long enough, Albus, long enough!"

Albus hung his head, and closed his eyes. He couldn't begin to understand what was going through that boys mind. He couldn't imagine what he'd been through. But he it was Dumbledore's duty to figure it out.


	24. Chapter 24

**Hey guys...**

**I feel horrible. I haven't updated for months.. It's just, I don't think I'm good enough to finish this story.**

**I'm not up to this website's standard.**

**I might update soon, but I don't know.**

**I'm really sorry for keeping you waiting.**

**Aislingx**


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